A Love Letter To…

After a long and hard-fought battle with myself, I am ready to fall for you. I don’t know who you are yet. I don’t know if I have already met you or have yet to meet you, but I can’t wait until we fall in love. I haven’t ever been in love before. I have had crushes here and there, but nothing seemed right. Now, I know why that was… I had to learn the hard way to accept myself. All my flaws, all my accomplishments, and all my weird little quirks make me who I am. There isn’t another me. For a long time, I hid from the world because I thought there was no way in Hell someone would want to be with me. Fuck, I didn’t even want to be with myself. That’s why I kind of hope that we haven’t met yet. I want you to see me for who I am, not who I was. If you are somebody I’ve already met, I beg you to please see my growth, even if we meant yesterday. Either way, I am not ready to experience that growth alongside someone.

I’ve always wanted your love, but the little voice in my head always played the same role. That voice would say, “What if it doesn’t work out? What if you get hurt?” So, I always thought about the worst-case scenario. I built walls and decided not to let myself fall in love because it was too scary, and you would fall out of love with me, and all that would be left was me heartbroken. Today, I say FUCK YOU to that voice in my head. I am ready to tear down those wells that separated you and me. I  want the hurt; I want the heartbreak. I want it all! Love is the most beautiful thing we do. Even when it ends, I want to embrace that fear. That fear of heartbreak isn’t all bad like it’s cracked up to be. Sorry to be cliché (I’m not really sorry because I do love cliches :D), but they always say that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved.

As I said, I haven’t ever loved before, but I have to believe that the cliché is true. No matter how it ends, whether it’s happy ever after or heartbreak, I want to experience life with someone other than myself. I want to hear your biggest dreams and be there when you achieve those dreams. I want to learn about your deepest fears and help you conquer those fears. I want to be the person you share everything with, whether it’s what you had for lunch or if you are up for a promotion. To me, there isn’t anything better than being that person for someone. I hope that someone is you. But if it’s not, I hope you find that someone. We all deserve it.

It won’t be easy, and it’s not meant to be, but we will figure it out together. You will have to be patient with me. I’ve done a lot of growing, but I still have a lot more growing to do. Being in a relationship with me is like raising a dog. It is difficult, but if you can get through the puppy, it will be well worth it. I am going to need reassurance; I’m going to need support. Unfortunately, I can guarantee I will hurt, but please just understand that I am not trying to. I am very emotional, and sometimes I let those emotions get the best of me. I promise, though, I will always fight for us. Like a dog, I will be extremely loyal to you. I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me until the very end.

I am not trying to scare you; I am just opening myself up to you. That is something I haven’t done with a lot of people, but I am trying. All I can ask is that you love me for me. I can’t wait to stand and face life with you. Come and get me. I AM READY.